------- How They Became, I --------
They were in bed the morning after a party, coffee mugs in hand. Both a little hungover but that was somewhat offset by the afterglow of the nice sex they’d had before sleep.
“So…” she said.
“So?”
“About last night.”
“Mm?”
“I’m just wondering what you thought. About what Jason said.”
Oh. That. He thought they’d kind of laughed it off. Why was she bringing it up now?
“I thought that was just a joke.”
“Well, kind of. He left it open for you to take it that way. But I have to tell you something.”
“What?” He felt a twinge of fear, a strange looseness in his gut. Part of him knew this had been coming.
“Well, he’s kinda been, you know… hitting on me.”
“You never told me.”
“I just pushed it away. At first.”
“’At first’? Does that mean you’re actually thinking about it?”
“Truthfully? Kind of. Yes.
“Oh.”
“It’s not a complete shock, is it?”
“But I thought … I mean, I thought you were okay with—with how things have been. You’re saying you’re un… unsatisfied?”
“Sweetheart, I like it with you. It’s just I can’t seem to stop thinking about him. How it would be. A guy like that.”
“You mean, a black guy.”
“Partly that. Yeah.”
“What’s the other part?”
She sipped her mug, not meeting his eyes.
“Oh, “ he said. “That.”
“That,” she admitted.
It wasn’t a secret that she’d married him in spite of a certain physical deficiency or limitation that he had. The first time they’d been naked together, she’d laughed and then apologized, tried to cover for it. But he knew. Other women had reacted similarly. Unlike other women, though, she decided rather quickly that she actually liked it. It was cute. It was in its own way a kind of attraction, a uniqueness about him. Something about it appealed to her. Such a cute guy, and then you found out… Well, no wonder he was so shy despite how attractive he was. “And after all,” she’d said, “I won’t have to worry so much about trusting you around other women, will I?” Maybe a hurtful thing to say, a little, but the fact that she wanted him for herself, wanted him to be faithful to her, that was a good thing.
That positive attitude evolved as they kept going out, got married. Instead of trying to just ignore his “little problem” they’d made a game of it. She’d developed a sweet, solicitous, teasing manner about it. And when as happened occasionally she felt the need of something more, well, there were things they could do. Toys they could use.
Until now, he’d allowed himself the luxury of believing this was all enough.
“Aw, honey, don’t get upset,” she caressed his cheek. “It’s not unnatural, really, is it? The thought of someone like that. Girls talk, you know. He’s been with a couple of other women in my division and, well, word gets around. Janet slept with him and she said he’s fantastic. I think she may have told him I was curious. Interested. Anyway, he’s been coming around to my office. Flirting. I can’t help being a little flattered. A girl likes to be pursued. And I find, increasingly, I just can’t seem to stop thinking about it. About him.” Her voice lowered and her face came close. She was kissing his lips, his cheek. Moving back toward his ear. Whispering. “I’ve seen it. Not directly. But… He sometimes bikes into work. The gym is just down from my office, where he changes, and I’ve seen him in his outfit. Those tights they wear? Lately he’s been stopping to chat.” She bit his earlobe, gently. “He knows I noticed. I think he wanted me to. It’s kind of funny, showing off like that. But sexy. He’s really big, honey. I can see how big he is in that outfit he wears.”
Jack could feel himself drifting into that mood she liked to put him in. But this wasn’t just teasing him about his “little cutie” or cajoling him into going down on her without her reciprocating—“serving me” she called it. She was talking about being attracted to another man. He struggled to get clear of her spell.
“But Sara… I mean… Where does that put us?”
She pulled back a little, met his eyes. “I guess that’s what we need to figure out,” she said. “I guess, well… it’s kind of up to you.”
The cloud seemed to gather again, fogging his thoughts.
“I’m trying to be honest,” she said.
“I know. I see that.”
“I think that’s important, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Darling,” she said, kissing him again. Warm hand slipping inside the flap of his bathrobe. The fog rose again and he felt his erection stirring. It was a maddening, novel feeling—a result of certain games they’d been playing recently. Things that pleased her and by exagerating his "cuteness." Depilating him. Having him wear something of hers. Embarrassing. Face-reddening. But deeply exciting for her. These things thrilled her in some way that was a little disturbing but hard to resist. That was his gift to her, since the beginning. Lacking other endowments, he could at least develop this skill, learn to gratify this other kind of passion she had.
“Don’t fuss,” she whispered, her hand sliding down his tummy. “I’m sure it will all work out. Such a sweet thing. So nice to me.”
---How They Became, II---
Later that week, she told him she had invited Jason to come over that Saturday. “Just to socialize, get to know each other a little better. Maybe watch the game. Are you okay with that?”
“But Sara.”
“Just to test the waters, that’s all. Get a sense of how we all get along. It would be good for you too. See how it feels to be around him on a friendly basis. It doesn’t have to be a big deal or anything. Besides, I already invited him.”
It was just to be a social get-together. He clung to that idea over the next few days, but the whole thing made him nervous as hell. The idea of greeting, socializing with this man. Of course the guy didn’t know Jack was aware of his interest in Jack’s wife. But still, it was kind of a strange invitation wasn’t it? What would the guy make of it? Could they really just sit around and act normal with that undercurrent in the air?
They would keep it casual, social, friendly. That, he could handle. This was what he told himself. Until he saw how she was dressing for their little get-together on Saturday morning.
“You’re going like that?”
“Think it’s too much?” she said, turning before the floor-length mirror, twisting to check the reflection from the rear. “We need to know if he’s really attracted to me. That’s part of what this is about after all.”
Tight little cut-offs, artfully faded and torn. Long tan thighs, high-heeled sandals and green toenail polish that matched her eyes. A short, stretchy top above low-rise cut-offs leaving her belly bare. Jack ached to kiss there where the little shorts dipped so low in front, that thrilling expanse of flawless skin. She loved it when he offered to do that, go down on her and not receive anything in return. To be truly servile, the way she liked, the thing that always excited her the most however he expressed it. Pop the button with his teeth and keep going down.
She laughed, pushing him away. “Not now, silly. He’ll be here soon.”
Jason showed up about half an hour before game time. Sara dallying at her make-up table, leaving it to Jack to welcome him in, be the host. Jack swallowing his nervousness, clinging to the presumption of it being just a normal get-together. Jason, to his credit, made that easier. One of those guys who was just very comfortable in his own skin. Easy about things. Even his flirtatious compliments when Sara appeared seemed natural, pretty much within the lines. What a lucky guy Jack was, a wife like that. Love those cut-offs man. Sugar cupcake, one sweet delectable darling, top to bottom.
Comments that continued during the game, when she got up to refresh the snack tray, passing by Jason’s chair as she went out and returned. Establishing that this was an okay way for them to relate. That Jack was okay with having his wife appreciated in this way. He didn’t know a lot of black guys after all. Probably this was just a regular thing. One of those cultural differences. You were supposed to be tolerant of such things.
It started when Sara came back after leaving the room during the half-time.
She stopped where Jason was sitting. Handed him the beer she’d brought. Then perched on the arm of his chair. Jack was suddenly tingling all over. Trying not to pay too much attention from his spot on the sofa.
“How you doing?” she said.
“Doing fine. Great in fact. You?”
“I’m getting a little bored. I don’t really care about football. Look—“ she said, lifting her leg, pointing pretty toes—“this is my new polish. See?” Turning her ankle for his admiration.
“Very nice.”
“I’m glad you like it.”
“Rest is pretty damn nice too.”
“You’re sweet. Scootch over.” She squeezed in beside him, one thigh up over his lap. She took a chip from the bowl on the table, dipped it and presented it to him, one palm cupped under in case it dripped. He lifted his arm but she said “No, let me,” and brought it to his mouth. “Mm, “ he said, taking it between his teeth, crunching.
“Got everything you want?” she asked, offering him another. “Everything you need?”
Jack felt his face flaming. The blare of the TV covered his pretence of not noticing what was going on.
“Mm,” Jason chuckled. “Maybe not everything.” Jack snuck a quick glance. Dark hand resting familiarly on the smooth white skin just above his wife’s knee. Her head moving towards Jason’s as she fed him another chip and Jack felt the elevator falling away beneath him as they kissed.
Then their heads moved apart and she went back to kidding around, feeding him chips from the bowl.
No big deal. Nothing Jack need concern himself with. Just a friendly little kiss as they goofed around over there in the big wing chair. That seemed to be the attitude. Just a little flirtation going on over there, nothing any frisky wife might not get up to with a sexy guy. Teasing him with a chip as he snapped at it, making little comments about how hungry he was. What a nice, flat strong tummy he had despite liking his chips and beer. Did he workout? Is that where all those nice muscles came from? Lots of nice muscles, mmm. Got some nice muscles you haven’t seen yet. Her laughter. Friends could enjoy a bawdy joke like that. Nice to be friends like this. Her nipples erect in her stretchy little top.
That was the tease they played out over the next half hour or so. Sara feeding him, his hand on her thigh, idly stroking. In between the banter, every once in a while their heads would move together for a kiss. Casual, like it was no big deal. Just trying it out, seeing if she liked it.
Meanwhile, the pretence of enjoying the game went on. Jason dividing his attention between the TV and the pretty distracting thing sitting on his lap. Responding to the major plays, The occasional groan when their guys fumbled, missed a catch in the end zone. “Hush now girl, I want to watch this,” during the slo-mo replay. Then letting her draw his attention away again. More kissing. Both her legs across his lap, one of his arms around her back, his other hand resting on her thigh. Shifting to the closer leg, fingers cupped toward the inside of her thigh, stroking. Her legs easing slightly apart, his hand irresistibly drawn to the smoother skin offered. Jack picking all this up in his periphery, or in furtive, helpless glances. Her hand on his flat belly. Toying with his buttons. At some point she had pulled one or two of them free and slid her hand in there, nice to feel those firm tummy muscles.
The kisses grew longer, sustained. Jack trying not to look, his face burning. What kind of guy, after all, could permit this? But he was stuck, frozen, helpless, tingling all over. The same sensation when they played those games she liked but so much more intense. Loose, floating, gut-punched. Erect. The slippery novel sensation down there reminding him of the most recent game they’d been playing, how she liked to tease him. Feminize him. That he could excite her in this way excited him. Now this.
Their little social get-together.
The hot sensation, his face burning as the pretence just did start becoming quite untenable. There began to be little sounds. Moans. Motions out of the corner of his eye that he didn’t want to see, didn’t want confrontation. He had turned more and more sideways toward the TV, forcing himself to turn his back to the other two. Because he couldn’t stand it, or because watching was impolite. Now, on the TV, the game was drawing to a close. Two minute warning gun. He found himself habitually muting the sound as the commercial break started.
In the fresh silence, kiss-muffled moans. Fabric shifting, a metallic clink. A gasp. A lower moan. Tiny click of lips parting, Sara’s gasping breath.
“God, Jason. God. Look at you. It’s beautiful.”
Jack frozen, burning all over, eyes riveted on the TV.
“Look at this, darling. You should really see this.”
Dreamlike, shifting his position. He was a robot obeying orders, his head humming. Their bodies coming into full view.
Their positions had shifted since he’d stopped looking. She’d slumped down in his arms and her little shorts were unsnapped. Jason was nuzzling below her ear, one hand cupped around her pretty conical breast, thumb slowly crossing the erect shape of her nipple, back and forth. Her own hand down where… shocked, he looked back up to meet her eyes. Her eyes flaming green, glazed with excitement, staring back across at him. Bold, excited at this whole situation. This little tableau, Jack’s attention. The thing in her hand.
“Isn’t it gorgeous? Go ahead. Look.”
He let his eyes drop to what he had been trying so hard not to see. She had pulled Jason’s cock free of his jeans. Her fingers looked small and delicate holding the base of the thick, dark thing that rose so far up above her hand .
“See? It’s nice isn’t it. I’ve never felt anything like this.”
Jason had been looking down at where she was holding him, his lips slightly parted for heavier breathing. Now he looked up as she spoke, slowly lifted his gaze to Jack’s.
His voice a little thick with excitement. “I think your lady may have something in mind here, Jack. You okay with that?”
Jack’s world was spinning, tossing him free. The old part of him was still there somewhere, still generating waves of crimson heat and shame, but the centrifugal force had thrown him free and he was floating, erect, liberated. This exciting thing, offered. How it would excite her for him to accept this, let her take this huge, irrevocable step.
In her sweetness, her awareness of his feelings, her thoughtfulness, she made it easier for him. Made it a decision about something smaller, something he could do easily, almost within the all but forgotten context of this being just a social get-together.
“Jack?” she said. “I think we’d be more comfortable on the couch. Wanna switch with us?”
Rising in a dream, the three of them. Not a dream though—Jason awkwardly holding up his trousers with one hand, the other around Sara’s waist. Sara holding his big erection still, like it was a handle for guiding him. Her tiny shorts undone, held up merely by how tight they were on her hips. Stopping Jack with her free hand as they met in the center of the room.
“You guys should be friends,” she said. “Will you be friends?” She let go of Jason’s cock to hold Jack’s face in her hands. He could feel the warmth it had left in that palm against his cheek. Kissed him. “You’ll be nice? You’re going to be nice, right?”
Yes, he nodded.
“So hot for me,” she whispered against his lips. “You make me so hot.” A warm glow. That he could please her this way was his one solace, the thing that rescued him.
“My sweet husband. See why I
him so?” This directed at Jason. “He’s such a sweet guy.”
“I’ve got no problem so far,” Jason said.
“If he could help,” she said, staring into Jack’s eyes, holding him with all her desire, the anticipatory thrill of a need fulfilled burning there. “If you didn’t mind him helping.”
Jason laughed. “Makes you happy, it’s fine with me. Whatever you like babe.”
“Jack? Please?”
The sick thrill of it. His cock throbbing in the tight clasp of the slippery fabric.
“Whah—at,” he stammered. Throat dry. “I—yes. Anything.” A little adolescent squeak like back when his voice was changing. A kind of regression. Good. Accept it, he thought.
“One thing I thought about, last couple of days,” Sara said. “One thing that would be nice.”
“Yes?”
“Undress me for him.”
